"omg i love Harry! his British accent is so cute!"
i haven’t been to subway in 2 years cos the woman went “what bread do you want” and i went “yeah”
"everybody put your hands in the air!" yells the robber at the night club. the clubbers think he is the DJ and keep dancing. maybe he should have picked a different location
- some bitch: omg you wore that shirt the other day
- me: yeah well in my house we have this amazing thing called a washing machine
when you make a joke and someone tells you “that’s not very nice”
seeing a hot stranger in public is a blessing
seeing the same hot stranger in public again is a sign